Confidence

Funny how it takes years to build it, but it only takes one moment to lose it, and then it takes twice the amount of time to rebuild it. Three years ago, I lose my confidence. A verbally and mentally abusive boss made me forget the meaning of confidence. But somehow while working in a painfully routine and unchallenging workplace, it slowly came back to me. Cheering, supporting and believing in myself brought it up to its normal level.

Sometimes, all you need is a leap of faith to test out your confidence level. I'm glad I did mine.

Vive le quebec ostie...

I never realized how quebecois I was until recently. A few weeks back, I finally met another Quebecois person (i was here for 4 months, i haven't met one until then, just bloody frenchies from France!) and I was ecstatic! It felt good to speak in "bon quebecois". Speaking in French (with frenchies made me replace words from Quebecois to French.. hollible like the French say), talk about how awesome Montreal was with the food, festivals, summer and all. Over the weekend, I met yet ANOTHER quebecois girl, and I was even more excited because of the rarity! Then the full fledge quebecois came back, franglais, poutine, maudite marde, ostie de tabarnak viarge, saying how Laval is a black hole for direction you name it. It felt so, natural. We were such a great duo at promoting Montreal that they were wondering if we were working for Tourisme Quebec!

Maybe I'm starting to get a bit home sick and speaking to other people helps me remind me that I'm not too far from home.

Studying..

I forgot the meaning of that word. It's been over 5 years since I have graduated and I haven't done that since. I just finished a 3 day training/certification program for a product called Sitecore, an enterprise level CMS used through out the industry. I came into the training and exam with basic .NET experience (the entire platform is built on .NET). I am no where close to be a junior programmer with school experience, but I still felt incredibly overwhelmed. I forgot (perhaps it's a good thing since I have also forgotten my bad studying habits) how to study efficiently and mostly how to effectively answer multiple choice exams. Thankfully (well thank you useless knowledge compartment in my brain) I remember a useful tip that my high school teach taught me. "On multiple choice questions, the first answer is always the right one". Meaning, if you are unsure if your answer is right and the other answers gives you the same amount of question marks, chances are, it's the right question. Obviously, it is not a foul proof rule, but rule of thumb, it usually works.

The exam itself was intense, not because it was hard per se, but there is A LOT of material to cover in 3 days. If I could have a penny for everytime i said "what the HELL is this", I would probably be able to pay for the certification myself. The exam was as stressful as dentist appointment, and I don't remember feeling my heart beat that fast because of an exam.

Did I think that I passed? It felt like I managed to answer most of the question, following my rule of thumb, but I don't want to think about it. This also reminded me why I hated exams and school so badly.

[update]

Turns out I passed the exam. I guess using my gut feeling paid off. yay me

Lost in translation

Being in an English speaking (well officially anyways) country, one shouldn't have a problem understanding the locals, unless the local uses more slang than English in their sentences! Australians love to shorten their words (probably because they are constantly drunk) and end the contraction with "ie". Here is a list (short) of the expressions I heard so far:

Breakky -> Breakfast

Sunnies -> Sunglasses

Pokies -> Slot machines

Wetty -> Wet Suit

Barbie -> BBQ
[updates]
Brissie -> Brisbane (the city)
Pommie -> People who come from the UK (i have a feeling this is more derogatory than anything else)
Footie -> Australian Football (not soccer, not american football, some weird mix between rugby, soccer, volleyball, basketball)

They also have their variations of other expressions too

Arvo -> Afternoon

Mackers -> Mc Donalds

Minced Meat -> Ground beef

Capsicum -> Peppers (green/red/orange/yellow)

Sultanas -> Dried raisins

help?

Meeting new people

When living in a new country or new city, one of the hardest challenge is to meet new people and friends. Leaving your friends behind, you only have yourself to rely on. Although I'm a very sociable person and not afraid to meet new people, my biggest hurdle was to find WHERE to meet new people. I never liked the idea (nor have I had much luck) meeting people in a club, it's usually quite pretentious and there might be fake people.

Fortunately for me, my coworker is a really awesome dude and I get along very well with him. He introduced to me to this community called couchsurfing.org, which is a community built over couch surfers. A couch surfer is literally a person who travels and sleeps on couches of other people. At first I found the concept quite dodgy (I mean, I wouldn't want to sleep in a stranger's house that I've met online! Or host a complete stranger) but once I got to know the community and the website, it's quite safe. Working on referrals and testimonials throughout the community, you can easily tell who are the trustworthy people and who you should avoid.

For the past month or so, I've been regularly attending meet ups where heaps of couch surfers meet over a beer, sharing stories and travel experiences. Hopefully when I get back home, I can host a few couch surfers and hear their stories.

Living on my own..

It's about almost two months since I left the nest and venture in the great and scary unknown. Equipped with my tiny laptop, a massive backpack and suitcase and virtually no plan, I went to tempt lady luck and moved to Australia. A few weeks down the line, I'm blogging (could have been doing it on my work macbook) in a huge house, with amazing flat mates, working with great people. It all sounds nice and dandy, but this is the first time in my life that I have lived on my own, and it's been a big eye opener on how spoiled I was back home.

The first biggest hurdle was food. I love food, and I hate eating frozen/instant/microwavable food (I do have my weakness for microwavable burritos and frozen pizza though!). However, there are days that after a long day of work, all I feel like doing is sit on the couch (or this great beanie bag we have in our flat) and drink a nice glass of wine (or beer). Before I would come home, and dinner would be served on the table, all I had to do is sit down, open my mouth and chew. I also have a lack of inspiration in terms of variety. I have so much to learn (my mom is a great cook who knows how to cook virtually anything).

Grocery shopping is another challenge I'm trying to master. The fact that I don't have a car makes things harder since I have to carry everything, but I realized how expensive (and difficult) it is to buy food for just ONE person. I can't buy too many because food has an annoying ability to go bad. I can't buy premium ingredients because it's expensive (so far, generic brand taste not too bad).

But the biggest and hardest hurdle that I have yet to overcome is technology, mostly the WORLD WIDE WEB. I used to go home, and download my tv shows (heaps and heaps of it) and watch them after dinner, not having to worry about how long it will take (20 minutes tops for a 45 minutes show) or how many I can download. I can just click, wait and watch. As simple as that. Over here, I don't have a broadband connection. I'm surviving on a prepaid (and incredibly slow) internet, with a limit. No TV shows, limited youtube streaming (and not to mention an attrociously slow speed). I admit that I'm addicted to the Internet, I'm still trying to find a way to get over this one.

Who said moving out is a fun and amazing experience, then again, if it was easy, I wouldn't be enjoying it ;)

age

We meet people everyday, some younger, others older. When I meet people (individuals or group), I don't  discriminate the age; as long as I can have a decent conversation, I'm happy. But I have noticed that I have a much harder time to connect with younger people, especially when they are about a decade younger than me. I am still very young at heart and I can find common subjects to talk about, but sometimes their attitude turns me off. For example, today I have been hanging out with this group of british "kids" (I call them kids because they are 18). They are very fun and energetic group of people but I can't relate to drinking in public area and get hammered. I have done that 10 years ago, that behaviour is idiotic. Somewhere down the line, I lost the desire or will to get drunk just to get drunk.  Obviously to every rule, there is an exception. In the rare occasion, I get to meet "kids" that are wise and mature beyond their year, to the point that I forget their real age.

Since when does growing up makes me feel so damn old?

Australia, week one: Technology in Australia

It has already been a little more than a week since my departure from the land of beavers, slush and cold. So far, the transition has been somewhat smooth. I obviously had to adapt to the different culture and technological differences, mostly the world wide web. In Canada, we are spoiled to have "unlimited" internet and more importantly, FAST internet at a somewhat affordable price. It is true that our market is bottle necked by the monopoly of Videotron and Bell, but at least each common house has a DSL connection or a Cable one. In Australia, it is very hard to come around a decent internet connection. Even with the free wifi, I can't seem to get a decent connection (read: 5 to 10 k per second if i'm lucky). Thankfully, the Australia government has injected billions of dollars to upgrade their infrastructures. If all goes as planned, in 5 years, Australia will be as fast as Europe.

However, what impressed me the most are the cell phone carriers, especially the prepaid. First of all, they are not controlled another monopoly (ie the Big 3: Bell, Telus and Rogers), there are about 3 main carriers, and at least 5 or 6 saller ones.  So for only 30$ a month (yes it sounds a lot but wait until i explain how it works), I get a 300$ balance (each call costs about 1.20 per 30 seconds.. expensive but with 300$ it comes to cheaper than the fido prepaid) AND 500 megs DATA PLAN, plus, the most amazing part is ALL CALLS ARE UNLIMITED INCOMING. I might have have 10 pennies left, and I can still receive calls. That is only one option. Each carriers have their own "prepaid plans" so it takes a bit of searching to find the Goldilocks package.

As for me, I'm still adjusting to the Australia way of life, learning how to stay away from the sun and slop on heap of sun screen (the UV index in Sydney is constantly at 10 compared to Montreal where the average index during the summer is around 8). I've been looking for jobs (and start to look out for places to stay)  and explore the city.

Hopefully by the next post, I'll find a job and find a flat to live in and explain how expensive housing is in Australia.

End of a chapter, beginning of a new one

I did it. I mustered the courage to quit my job, leave all my friends, coworkers and family behind, pack up my bags and leave for Australia, the furthest point on Earth from home. Although I'm happy and proud of myself for undertaking a courageous move, deep down I'm terrified. For the past few years, I've been having doubts and second guessing my decision. "Am I doing the right thing? Are you sure this is the right thing to do? Will you find a job or burn through your savings and come back home broke?" I kept saying to myself. My mom's worries and ridiculous worst case scenarios intensified the butterflies and knots in the stomach. Thankfully, I being born as a Taurus (100%, no more cusp sign); I have a stubborn personality, which is my greatest strength and weakness at the same time. I want to prove to myself that I can live on my own, without a safety net. A former manager once told me that until I move out from my parents place and learn hardship, I will never grow in my career. As much of an narcissist he was, he was right.

Now here I am, at the airport, sipping on my last canadian latte ready to embark on this journey and start a new chapter of my life. Will it be hard? I hope it will. Will I grow and learn from this experience? You betcha!

“Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.” - Jeremy Schwartz

I intend on doing this every single day.

 

Dear 16 years old self

The Montreal Gazette published letters written by famous personalities where they wrote letters to their 16 years old self. I read a few and I thought long and hard about what to write, without being too harsh or judgemental (I really hated my 16 years old self...).

Dear 16 years old self,

I wish I wrote this letter to you when you were 13. There is so much I want to tell you. Those first few years of high school were quite rough, but things do get better though. Here is a piece of wisdom, be confident! You're a really strong kid, you just don't realize it. Believe in yourself and don't let those jerks in class get to you. Don't doubt yourself and do what you think is right. Although you are very loud (12 years down the line, you will still be loud, don't try to change it, it won't happen) and strongly opinionated (that will increase once you build up the confidence level) you will have a lot of friends who will appreciate who you are and value your opinions and friendship. And for the love of god, don't give up on your geeky nature. It's who you are, don't fight it, embrace it!

28 years old self.