Tuesday, October 27, 2009
je sait ecrire sant fotes et avec la bonne grammaire et syntaxe
Lately my biggest pet peeve when I read forum or comment posts are basic grammar and syntax mistakes. I'm not talking about advanced ones such as exceptions or conjugate an obsolete verb tense, but rather grammar rules that teachers teach in grade school. There is one mistake that drives me BONKERS: the usage of the "participe passé" (past participle) in French. The rule states the following: "After a conjugated verb, use the past participle". This is a very simple and easy rule to remember, ex: j'ai ecris, j'ai battu etc. However, the difficulty comes of the usage of the "participe passé" of verbs of the 1st group (those that end with "er", which is pronounced like "eh" (yes, the Canadian way to end a sentence eh :P). This "eh" sound can be written as "er" or "é" (classic homonym), but everybody knows that a word that ends with "er" is, 80% of the time, indicates that it is a verb. Unfortunately, people don't seem to know the difference! I mean people, this is taught in GRADE 3!!! I should stop reading the comments on rds.ca, not because it has the most bias views on the habs (if we win, they are all, YAY! WE ROCK! LINE 1 AND 2 ARE THE BEST!!!1ONEONEONE, but if we lose, they are ready to trade the entire team, and then fire the coach, GM and the rest of upper management) but the people who write ARE ALL GROWN UPS WHO PASSED GRADE SCHOOL. I feel sorry for today's society, I'm sure my 8 years old nephew is smarter than those nimwits
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
They said I had A.D... something, I dunno- CAN WE HAVE CLASS OUTSIDE?!
(if you have no idea what this quote is from, shame on you. best.show.ever)
For some reason, I love cover songs. From taking a Britney or Backstreet Boys song and adding a punk flare to a tv show passing by Nintendo theme songs (seriously do yourself a favor and download those albums, it really rocks), I don't really care. It's music to my ears and sometimes it's better than the original song. It's also because I secretly like teeny bopper music (think spice girls or any boy band) and i won't be thrown to the lions if it sounds like a punk band, something like that. To my defense, those songs are ridiculously catchy and it's an excuse to sing along when you're really drunk because you had a lot of drinks with an awesome friend.
For you old timers out there who used to party, remember the days when 6 hours of sleep is enough to recover from an all nighter of partying? Or when you came back home at 4am for 3 or 4 nights in a row and still feel like a million dollar on day 4 or 5? Yeah, I can't seem to do that anymore. Eating junk food at 3am? nope, can't do that either. Shouldn't the body learn that if you've been doing it for the past 10 years of your life, it should still be able to do it? Screw you Darwin, you lied, adaptation is a myth.
Speaking of TV shows, it has been my recent addiction. I have waaaay too many shows to follow (10 that i have to follow every week or i'll die, the rest are all fillers). Don't ask me to list them, it's too long. But is it really my fault for all the content that is available? Think about it, you are bored, it's raining outside. You feel like watching something funny? Turn on the comedy central and you got reruns of Seinfeld or Friends. You want something overly dramatic with terrible acting? Turn on ABC and you got myriads of soap opera. You want a teeny bopper show with actresses that can't act for their life? Go watch Melrose place. It's really not too hard, 90% of kids have access to cable. No cable? The internet is your best friend (torrents, streaming sites etc). No wonder why kids these days are getting dumber and dumber. I'm no exception ;)
For some reason, I love cover songs. From taking a Britney or Backstreet Boys song and adding a punk flare to a tv show passing by Nintendo theme songs (seriously do yourself a favor and download those albums, it really rocks), I don't really care. It's music to my ears and sometimes it's better than the original song. It's also because I secretly like teeny bopper music (think spice girls or any boy band) and i won't be thrown to the lions if it sounds like a punk band, something like that. To my defense, those songs are ridiculously catchy and it's an excuse to sing along when you're really drunk because you had a lot of drinks with an awesome friend.
For you old timers out there who used to party, remember the days when 6 hours of sleep is enough to recover from an all nighter of partying? Or when you came back home at 4am for 3 or 4 nights in a row and still feel like a million dollar on day 4 or 5? Yeah, I can't seem to do that anymore. Eating junk food at 3am? nope, can't do that either. Shouldn't the body learn that if you've been doing it for the past 10 years of your life, it should still be able to do it? Screw you Darwin, you lied, adaptation is a myth.
Speaking of TV shows, it has been my recent addiction. I have waaaay too many shows to follow (10 that i have to follow every week or i'll die, the rest are all fillers). Don't ask me to list them, it's too long. But is it really my fault for all the content that is available? Think about it, you are bored, it's raining outside. You feel like watching something funny? Turn on the comedy central and you got reruns of Seinfeld or Friends. You want something overly dramatic with terrible acting? Turn on ABC and you got myriads of soap opera. You want a teeny bopper show with actresses that can't act for their life? Go watch Melrose place. It's really not too hard, 90% of kids have access to cable. No cable? The internet is your best friend (torrents, streaming sites etc). No wonder why kids these days are getting dumber and dumber. I'm no exception ;)
Monday, October 5, 2009
oxymorons
There are some words which, put together makes funny and witty expressions, such as educational television, military intelligence or smart blondes (ok, not always true, but it's always funny to prove that those don't really exist :P). There are also some words that, when put together, makes something that makes absolutely no sense at all. Example:
Light beer (ex: Bud Lite, Coors Light)
Seriously, LIGHT beer? Not only it taste like watered down beer there is virtually NO difference in terms of calories. Take a look at this chart:
The difference between Bud Ice and the light is.. 38 calories.. 38!!! Walk for 15 minutes and you just burned it all, take a nap (or start making out heavily) and you just burned what you saved in one drink. Plus you'll end up peeing more often if you are planning on getting plastered.
Light (ultra light) cigarettes
This is one of my favorite one because it makes absolutely no sense. What is this? a low fat cigarette? It will give you less cancer when you smoke it? Wrong, people who buy that stuff inhale the same amount of crap into their lungs. Do yourself a favor and save on words and go for the real deal.(not that i am promoting smoking or anything)
Healthy junk food
As oxymoronic as it may sound, I sometimes wish this is true. Imagine the idea of stuffing your face with chips, fries, poutine and anything that and not worry about gaining weight. Unfortunately, something that great will never happen (like having a threesome with Megan Fox AND Jessica Alba). But it seem that the junk food marketing department manage to come up with creative ways to trick consumers into eating "healthier" junk food. Take Baked Lays chips for example. The baked version 120 calories and 3 grams of fat per serving (about 11 chips). Fried barbecue Lays harbor about 150 calories and 10 grams of fat. Sure it contains 7 grams less fat but mix that with beer and a few bags later, you've accumulated the equivalent of a big mac! yay!
It seems that cookies are no better (i gave up on this). Unless I want to eat stale and nasty cookies for the rest of my life, I'll just give up on the dream of a fat free cookie.
This caught my attention: healthy mini pizza roll! This has more than just one oxymoron: first, mini pizza.. let's be serious for a moment, mini pizza is a tease, just like how hot girls in a bar comes and seduce you and then when things get hot, BOOM, they blow you off. One bite and it's over, no more taste no more gooey cheese greatness. Second of all, healthy pizza. I have long debated with my friends and brother on how pizza actually contains all the 4 food groups: bread, dairy (cheese), fruits and veggies (if you go all dress you get red and green peppers, mushrooms and tomato is a fruit dammit!) and meat (pepperoni.. meat lovers pizza just has even more), therefore it's healthy. Unfortunately, we all know it's filled with fat and calories. There are several attempts to make it healthy but after reading the recipes, i'd rather eat cardboard than what they are suggesting.
Light beer (ex: Bud Lite, Coors Light)
Seriously, LIGHT beer? Not only it taste like watered down beer there is virtually NO difference in terms of calories. Take a look at this chart:
| Bud Ice | Anheuser Busch | 5.5% | 148 | 8.9g |
| Bud Ice Light | Anheuser Busch | 4.1% | 110 | 6.5g |
| Bud Light | Anheuser Busch | 4.2% | 110 | 6.6g |
| Bud Light Lime | Anheuser Busch | 4.2% | 116 | 8.0g |
The difference between Bud Ice and the light is.. 38 calories.. 38!!! Walk for 15 minutes and you just burned it all, take a nap (or start making out heavily) and you just burned what you saved in one drink. Plus you'll end up peeing more often if you are planning on getting plastered.
Light (ultra light) cigarettes
This is one of my favorite one because it makes absolutely no sense. What is this? a low fat cigarette? It will give you less cancer when you smoke it? Wrong, people who buy that stuff inhale the same amount of crap into their lungs. Do yourself a favor and save on words and go for the real deal.(not that i am promoting smoking or anything)
Healthy junk food
As oxymoronic as it may sound, I sometimes wish this is true. Imagine the idea of stuffing your face with chips, fries, poutine and anything that and not worry about gaining weight. Unfortunately, something that great will never happen (like having a threesome with Megan Fox AND Jessica Alba). But it seem that the junk food marketing department manage to come up with creative ways to trick consumers into eating "healthier" junk food. Take Baked Lays chips for example. The baked version 120 calories and 3 grams of fat per serving (about 11 chips). Fried barbecue Lays harbor about 150 calories and 10 grams of fat. Sure it contains 7 grams less fat but mix that with beer and a few bags later, you've accumulated the equivalent of a big mac! yay!
It seems that cookies are no better (i gave up on this). Unless I want to eat stale and nasty cookies for the rest of my life, I'll just give up on the dream of a fat free cookie.
This caught my attention: healthy mini pizza roll! This has more than just one oxymoron: first, mini pizza.. let's be serious for a moment, mini pizza is a tease, just like how hot girls in a bar comes and seduce you and then when things get hot, BOOM, they blow you off. One bite and it's over, no more taste no more gooey cheese greatness. Second of all, healthy pizza. I have long debated with my friends and brother on how pizza actually contains all the 4 food groups: bread, dairy (cheese), fruits and veggies (if you go all dress you get red and green peppers, mushrooms and tomato is a fruit dammit!) and meat (pepperoni.. meat lovers pizza just has even more), therefore it's healthy. Unfortunately, we all know it's filled with fat and calories. There are several attempts to make it healthy but after reading the recipes, i'd rather eat cardboard than what they are suggesting.
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