oxymorons

There are some words which, put together makes funny and witty expressions, such as educational television, military intelligence or smart blondes (ok, not always true, but it's always funny to prove that those don't really exist :P). There are also some words that, when put together, makes something that makes absolutely no sense at all. Example:


Light beer (ex: Bud Lite, Coors Light)
Seriously, LIGHT beer? Not only it taste like watered down beer there is virtually NO difference in terms of calories. Take a look at this chart:

Bud Ice	Anheuser Busch	5.5%	148	8.9g
Bud Ice Light	Anheuser Busch	4.1%	110	6.5g
Bud Light	Anheuser Busch	4.2%	110	6.6g
Bud Light Lime	Anheuser Busch	4.2%	116	8.0g

The difference between Bud Ice and the light is.. 38 calories.. 38!!! Walk for 15 minutes and you just burned it all, take a nap (or start making out heavily) and you just burned what you saved in one drink. Plus you'll end up peeing more often if you are planning on getting plastered.


Light (ultra light) cigarettes
This is one of my favorite one because it makes absolutely no sense. What is this? a low fat cigarette? It will give you less cancer when you smoke it? Wrong, people who buy that stuff inhale the same amount of crap into their lungs. Do yourself a favor and save on words and go for the real deal.(not that i am promoting smoking or anything)


Healthy junk food
As oxymoronic as it may sound, I sometimes wish this is true. Imagine the idea of stuffing your face with chips, fries, poutine and anything that and not worry about gaining weight. Unfortunately, something that great will never happen (like having a threesome with Megan Fox AND Jessica Alba). But it seem that the junk food marketing department manage to come up with creative ways to trick consumers into eating "healthier" junk food. Take Baked Lays chips for example. The  baked version 120 calories and 3 grams of fat per serving (about 11 chips). Fried barbecue Lays harbor about 150 calories and 10 grams of fat. Sure it contains 7 grams less fat but mix that with beer and a few bags later, you've accumulated the equivalent of a big mac! yay!


It seems that cookies are no better (i gave up on this). Unless I want to eat stale and nasty cookies for the rest of my life, I'll just give up on the dream of a fat free cookie.


This caught my attention: healthy mini pizza roll! This has more than just one oxymoron: first, mini pizza.. let's be serious for a moment, mini pizza is a tease, just like how hot girls in a bar comes and seduce you and then when things get hot, BOOM, they blow you off. One bite and it's over, no more taste no more gooey cheese greatness. Second of all, healthy pizza. I have long debated with my friends and brother on how pizza actually contains all the 4 food groups: bread, dairy (cheese), fruits and veggies (if you go all dress you get red and green peppers, mushrooms and tomato is a fruit dammit!) and meat (pepperoni.. meat lovers pizza just has even more), therefore it's healthy. Unfortunately, we all know it's filled with fat and calories. There are several attempts to make it healthy but after reading the recipes, i'd rather eat cardboard than what they are suggesting.